Chapter 3 – The School: First Year(Girl who changed my life book)

The school was beautiful: Kyiv State Music Lyceum named after M. V. Lysenko. My teacher was Sergei Sylvansky, the son of a famous composer in Ukraine. He dreamed of escaping the Soviet Union and immigrating to the United States. Leaving the Soviet Union was considered a betrayal of your motherland, so he kept his dream on the down low. He pretended to be a loyal member of society while secretly planning his escape. He was secretive, quiet, and had no opinion about anything he wanted to be liked and accepted.

Ukraine was rough, and people struggled, but I think that, as the son of a famous composer, he had a decent life, at least financially in comparison to other people. I do not really know his story, but he seemed very laid back, like he had a good life. He was married and had a child, or maybe children, I am not sure how many. Many times he showed up late for a lesson, striding slowly through the corridors, and I was always so excited to see him and to learn music. He was nonchalant. Almost like he did not care about us (his students), but still had to pretend to be a teacher.

The school was a boarding school, so I shared a room with nine other girls. One of them was Sonya, and she became one of my closest friends and supporters in everything I did. She encouraged me to write music, sing, and perform. I had wanted to try those things before, but now I had someone who truly believed in me. Sonya especially encouraged me to explore music and creativity. She genuinely fell in love with the songs I wrote. We were both students of Sergei Sylvansky.

I started writing my first songs, and Sonya would sing the background vocals. Somehow, I became one of the best students in the school and made many friends. I became a leader, and within two years I was directing plays with other students that we performed for everyone at the boarding school.

It was a complete transformation for me, from living with my grandmother in the "grey" city of Dnipro Ukraine to attending one of the most prestigious music schools in Ukraine and becoming one of its best students, surrounded by friends.

Even though I was very outgoing, I did not know how to curse, fight physically, or stand my ground in the school hierarchy. I had no idea that people could be so cruel. I was creative and interesting, but I had no real backbone and was very naïve.

Growing up with my grandmother taught me safety, love, and care. Grandma Anya was not very affectionate, but she truly took care of me. She did everything she could to make sure I never felt poor, in need, or afraid. We lived in poverty, but I never felt it. There was always enough food, and our home was safe and calm. It was just me and my grandmother, living a quiet life together.

Now I was in a large boarding school with many talented children. Some of them would later become famous musicians. I had many friends, and even boys started noticing me. I played piano, sang, wrote songs, and did well in my academic classes.

The only problem was the food. The meals at the boarding school were very limited, and many of us were hungry if our parents did not bring us extra food. I remember being hungry all the time, sometimes even starving.

The beds were very soft and made of stretched ropes, often called rope beds. They had almost no support for the back. I developed severe scoliosis from sleeping on those beds because there was no proper support for my spine. Many of the other children also struggled with back problems and constant hunger.

On the weekends, my mom would pick me up, and we were always staying in different apartments. Some of them were very beautiful, filled with elegant 80’s retro furniture. In one apartment I even had my own room.

I used to read Shakespeare aloud to my dolls in that room. It is one of my happiest memories.

The room had blue 1980s-style furniture, a blue couch, an orange bed, a burgundy rug, yellow curtains—everything was covered in velvet. In my mom's room there was a large television, a piano, and beautiful Victorian-style candle holders. It was the most luxurious apartment I had ever seen. It felt like something out of a movie.

It was not ours. We were simply allowed to stay there.(Spoiler alert: My mom's new boyfriend had leased the apartment from another woman who was his lover. He was the same boyfriend who called the school to help make sure I was accepted, and the same man who helped my mom get into the conservatory. I did not know any of that yet.)

At the time, I simply loved it. Rich neighborhoods. Beautiful apartments. Life seemed wonderful, except for the hunger and the back pain from boarding school.

The first year went very well. I felt accomplished and proud of myself.

That was also the year I met my best friend, Renata. She came from an unfortunate family and stayed at the boarding school even on weekends. She was very shy, and that is exactly why I liked her.

Most of my other friends were loud and constantly competing to be the best musician. It wa sa prestigious music school, and kids were ambitious and some of them walked like rockstars.Renata somehow stayed outside the cliques, the groups, and the competitions. Once I got to know her, we immediately clicked. She was sensitive, intelligent, kind, strong, and unafraid to be alone. We had long conversations about everything. Our beds were next to each other.

She became my best friend outside of music, outside of competition, outside of appearances. I felt that she accepted me as a whole person. Around her, I did not have to pretend. I did not have to be the winner, the musician, the composer, or the best student.

She simply liked me.

I practiced the piano for four hours every day after classes. I even woke up at six o'clock every morning to practice before school. I was dedicated—the most dedicated student.

And it paid off.

I became a leader in both my class and my boarding-school dormitory.